Asker Anonymous Asks:
Best of the Four Knights of Gwin?
fastkarate fastkarate Said:
Asker Anonymous Asks:
That #GamerGate thing was definitely a joke, I guess it didn't come off like one because of all the bullshit that's been going down...
fastkarate fastkarate Said:

I recognized that joke was a possibility, but also that there are just some people out there bein’ real scumbags for no reason! :/

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Any thoughts on Persona 5?
fastkarate fastkarate Said:

You know I wanna play that video game!

Just about a month until Vita TV happens and we unseal the hushed P4Golden casket.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I'm a big fan of Shadowgate on the NES. Is the new remake (if it is a remake) worth checking out?
fastkarate fastkarate Said:

Just finished it this morning! I only ever fooled around with the NES version, but I liked liked this remake a whole lot. It’s very intense old school style adventure, so you’re going to be sitting there using “rock” on “other rock” and getting frustrated because nothing’s happening and you don’t know what to do. There’s also multiple time limits, so you can put yourself into a lot of situations that’ll permanently doom you, to say nothing of the handful of ways you could break some crucial item and get stuck. None of the latter happened to us, by then we’d started making multiple saves after we doomed our first run of the game by taking too long and succumbing to a curse.

Still I guess it must be a pretty cool game if you have 3-4 hours of wasted time and consider that a dry run, then restart on the harder difficulty and do it all over again. It’s neat! As I understand it, the remake keeps things very similar, but changes some of the logic around. Going in with knowledge of the original versions, you’ll know what you need to do but not always how to do it. Which is how it was for us, often. Playing with two people (and sometimes the help of a chat channel) made some of the headscratchers/space logic surmountable without a FAQ, and I did turn to it for one or two “what the heck do I click on with this dumb thing?” moments. 


All in all, I think that’s what you want from an adventure game though? The cool thing about the internet is that you can make stuff a little more obtuse than is strictly fair, because someone out there has a solution you can look up if you really feel jammed. Especially in this era of Walking Dead visual novel stuff. I do kind of miss clicking on verbs and mixing everything with everything else and going all the way back to the beginning of the game to try a puzzle piece on a door in like the second room. I love the awe and wonder of sorting out the mystery, and doing it in this kind of cheesy 80s fantasy heavy metal aesthetic, and putzing through your inventory and sorting out all the red herrings—like why the hell do we have a broom? Oh but you can burn the broom with your torch and it disappears… Oh, but maybe we need the broom, reload!

It’s a lot of the same stuff I liked about P.T.: the ability to putz around in a space and never being 100% sure if your actions are producing feedback actually makes the world feel more real and interactive. Even if a lot of that is fluff, I feel like what most games are missing these days are fluff. Budgets are so large that making a critical path is all anyone can really afford. Shadowgate had so many spokes that went to nowhere, or everywhere, or who knows! And for me, that really heightened the experience. Plus I like any game that makes you write stuff down in a notebook.

Would recommend!

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Dave, You are a good man and I aspire to be powerful like you! What do I do? (not a joke)
fastkarate fastkarate Said:

Take however much ice cream society tells you to put in the bowl.

Then double it.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
How many times did Hideo Kojima suck your dick for that Metal Gear Solid 5 review? #GamerGate
fastkarate fastkarate Said:

Haha, what? You mean the one where I said it there was too much Splinter Cell in it? Or how it had some way-gross sexual violence? Is this a joke? :D I guess I said it was kind of fun to ride around in a jeep. If that warrants a beej, the exchange rate is way down.

I guess I remember a time when I felt like everyone else was out to get me and I was the smartest person on the planet. I grew out of it. You will too. You won’t be a teenager forever, but the sooner you learn these lessons, the more time you’ll have to do things that are actually important, fulfilling, and worthwhile.

Don’t waste your life stewing in impotent rage over perceived slights. Don’t waste even a single second of your time being a jerk.

 First piece of boss loot is a Tricorne! Very pirate.

Lovin’ Skull & Shackles. Actual game playing is the same, but there’re a few small tweaks that mitigate some of my problems with RotR.

1) Plunder cards provide another to get randomized treasure, taking some of the burden off only getting upgrades through the deck. Plunder is facedown until the end of the scenario, and it starts floating away if your ship gets wrecked, so there’s a thrill of the unknown in protecting cards that might or might not be good. Some scenario rewards are just “take another boon of the same type for each Plunder card you have,” which ties into:

2) Ships card act as passive support cards that let you discard a card from the blessings deck (lose a turn) for a power. The ship you start with, the Merchantman, lets you do this to choose the type of Plunder you get. On a scenario with the 2x reward, we discarded a lot of turns to make sure we got as many Items as possible. Graz’s character wants a bandana that makes all her checks into Swashbuckling checks, which then lets her reroll a die. My character, the Alchemist, wants potions.

3) They made you want potions! …I mean, if you’re the Alchemist anyway, who puts them back into his deck instead of the box on use. Sweet! Especially when paired with the new Tot Flask.

The Tot Flask makes potions viable for any character, I guess, though I probably wouldn’t keep it around for non-Alchemists unless we started seeing really cool potions (we saw, but did not acquire, one that added a d6 to all checks until end of turn). Why it’s so crucial for Alchemist play is its ability to draw any potion you want out of your deck. Low on cards? With two Tot Flasks and a Potion of Healing in my deck our party basically doesn’t have a discard pile. When there’s a ship that requires Diplomacy to beat on the horizon, just draw up the Potion of Glibness to cover for your Alchemist’s crappy d4 Charisma. Which leads me to…

4) Checks are way more diversified. In Rise of the Runelords you were pretty crazy if you weren’t focusing all skill feats into your combat skill (Seoni’s d12+d6+8 fireball). In Skull and Shackles Wisdom (especially Survival) is crucial right off the bat for beating ships. Having a good Constitution or Fortitude is pretty clutch, where in RotR your Constitution skill was “”bury an armor to soak the Poison damage” because that was easier than bothering with a Fortitude check most of the time. Skills checks are much more diverse this time because…

5) Barriers are way more prevalent! In fact, pretty much all the locations have been about 50-50 monster/barrier. Runelords was probably more like 70-30. Many are ship-based, so you get to do adorable things like deal with a “Goose in the Rigging” or “Swab the Deck,” or, a favorite, “Pirate Hunting,” which gets you a Plunder card if you beat the ship! Barriers add a lot more uncertainty to the game, which moves you towards…

6) It feels a bit tougher! And not just harder, but a touch more complex. Barriers require a variety of skills, not just mostly Disable or Arcane/Divine, and even in the first deck there’s a bunch of shakeup monsters to keep you on your toes, like a giant mosquito that attaches to your deck and drains your cards if you don’t beat it, or a crab swarm that requires everyone at the location to fight it—twice, because they’re crabs and you automatically fail the first time against a crab—or a villain that makes you recharge a Pirate or Swashbuckling card from your hand, if you have it… b-but the only Swashbuckling card in my hand is my Pistol +1 so… I guess I’m rolling a bunch of d6s for my strength…

I’m way positive on this so far!

Reports from the field suggest Skull and Shackles has bomb-ass, tricorne-wearing, Tengu/Pirate/Crow Man allies.

Other reports suggest that the “sexy acolyte” has been replaced by the “sexy quartermaster.” General feeling is: this is a trade up.

Asker wayne-no Asks:
Walking Dead (The game) Cast? Also: The Walking Bread + Dinner Cast = Dinner Roll, Think about it. lol
fastkarate fastkarate Said:

The 2x pun potential alone makes me wanna ask Graz!

I think my overall opinion would be “I’m frustrated with this,” but we always wanted to do one for the first season and never got around to it.


2) Don’t use any marketing terms like ‘IP’ or ‘franchise’ or ‘title’ or whatever. Sometimes I catch myself doing it because I read so many silly PR emails and I have to get in the shower and cry whilst scrubbing myself down with sand. Write like a human being. We are not weird machines that churn out what corporations want us to. We are not the business side of anything. We are the People’s Champions. We are the bedraggled unwashed sleepy Scarlet Pimpernels of the gross games industry.

Important for that alone. Stop using words like IP and franchise. You might think they’re helping you class up the joint, but they actually make you sound like a shill. And you’re probably not a shill, so don’t use shill words. IP and Franchise are industry terms, not criticism terms. You should not be saying them unless you’re a CFO describing the beaucoup bucks this game is gonna make you.

Besides which: they just sound shitty. Franchise is what McDonalds does. Keep that crap in an earnings call.

And stop listening to earnings calls too.

This one too, I guess:

4) Avoid using cliches. Cliches are cliches because they have lost their effectiveness in describing things, and your main job is to be good at describing things. Earlier in this talk I used the phrase ‘then you get down to business’. Do not follow my lead. ‘Getting down to business’ is a boring and terrible phrase and it has become meaningless through overuse. It hasn’t even retained any winking charm. It is trash. The phrase ‘the biggest crotch-desiccant since Piers Morgan’ is still fresh, however, because I just made it up, and is probably usable if your editor is Keith Stuart of The Guardian.

Even though I’m not part of the “write something completely absurd about dicks instead of a cliche!” crowd, I prefer that to yet another “dizzying array of weapons,” etc.